Now on VHS, Robots Gone Wild
I've recently been using my AOL bot in place of an away message. Away messages have become passé, like SubProfiles and pointless self-indulgent profiles. Anyhoo, I came home one night and found the following in my newrisejohn bot's profile. I do not know this person's screen name, and I don't know what he or she was smoking, either.
08-08-2002, 21:49 roxygirl23675:
are you a robot
08-08-2002, 21:49 newrisejohn:
You're not really talking about me -- are you?
08-08-2002, 21:49 roxygirl23675:
are you an instant message robot
08-08-2002, 21:49 newrisejohn:
You're not really talking about me -- are you?
08-08-2002, 21:49 roxygirl23675:
hello
08-08-2002, 21:49 newrisejohn:
Hi. What seems to be your problem?
08-08-2002, 21:50 roxygirl23675:
whats your name
08-08-2002, 21:50 newrisejohn:
I've told you before, I don't care about names -- please continue.
08-08-2002, 21:50 roxygirl23675:
no
08-08-2002, 21:50 newrisejohn:
Does this make you feel unhappy?
08-08-2002, 21:50 roxygirl23675:
ye
08-08-2002, 21:50 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
08-08-2002, 21:50 roxygirl23675:
yes
08-08-2002, 21:50 newrisejohn:
I understand.
08-08-2002, 21:51 roxygirl23675:
understand what
08-08-2002, 21:51 newrisejohn:
What comes to mind when you ask that?
08-08-2002, 21:51 roxygirl23675:
nothing
08-08-2002, 21:51 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
08-08-2002, 21:51 roxygirl23675:
why
08-08-2002, 21:51 newrisejohn:
Have you asked such questions before?
08-08-2002, 21:51 roxygirl23675:
no
08-08-2002, 21:51 newrisejohn:
Why not?
08-08-2002, 21:51 roxygirl23675:
lets talk about sex
08-08-2002, 21:51 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
08-08-2002, 21:51 roxygirl23675:
sex
08-08-2002, 21:51 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
08-08-2002, 21:52 roxygirl23675:
sex me
08-08-2002, 21:52 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
08-08-2002, 21:52 roxygirl23675:
what r u a psychiatrist
08-08-2002, 21:52 newrisejohn:
What answer would please you most?
08-08-2002, 21:53 roxygirl23675:
that you would say yes to sexing me now
08-08-2002, 21:53 newrisejohn:
Suppose I did would say yes to sexing you -- what would that mean?
08-08-2002, 21:53 roxygirl23675:
i would be pleased
08-08-2002, 21:53 newrisejohn:
Why do you say you would be pleased?
08-08-2002, 21:53 roxygirl23675:
because i like the feeling
08-08-2002, 21:53 newrisejohn:
Is that the real reason?
08-08-2002, 21:54 roxygirl23675:
yes
08-08-2002, 21:54 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
08-08-2002, 21:54 roxygirl23675:
well are you going to do me
08-08-2002, 21:54 newrisejohn:
Really, I going to do you?
08-08-2002, 21:54 roxygirl23675:
vex me
08-08-2002, 21:54 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
08-08-2002, 21:54 roxygirl23675:
vex sex
08-08-2002, 21:54 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
08-08-2002, 21:55 roxygirl23675:
well are you or are you not going to sex me
08-08-2002, 21:55 newrisejohn:
Does someone else believe I not going to sex you?
08-08-2002, 21:55 roxygirl23675:
yes
08-08-2002, 21:55 newrisejohn:
Please tell me some more about this.
08-08-2002, 21:56 roxygirl23675:
well i went to johns house last night
08-08-2002, 21:56 newrisejohn:
That's quite interesting.
08-08-2002, 21:56 roxygirl23675:
and he took me to his room
08-08-2002, 21:56 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
08-08-2002, 21:56 roxygirl23675:
and we started kissing
08-08-2002, 21:56 newrisejohn:
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
08-08-2002, 21:57 roxygirl23675:
john and i started to kiss
08-08-2002, 21:57 newrisejohn:
You say john and you started to kiss?
08-08-2002, 21:57 roxygirl23675:
yes
08-08-2002, 21:57 newrisejohn:
Please tell me some more about this.
08-08-2002, 21:57 roxygirl23675:
then we got undressed
08-08-2002, 21:57 newrisejohn:
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
08-08-2002, 21:58 roxygirl23675:
john and i had sex
08-08-2002, 21:58 newrisejohn:
Why do you say john and you had sex?
08-08-2002, 21:58 roxygirl23675:
yes and it felt good
08-08-2002, 21:58 newrisejohn:
I understand.
08-08-2002, 21:58 roxygirl23675:
did i tell you i am very hot
08-08-2002, 21:58 newrisejohn:
You're not really talking about me -- are you?
08-08-2002, 21:59 roxygirl23675:
no i am talking about me
08-08-2002, 21:59 newrisejohn:
Why not?
08-08-2002, 21:59 roxygirl23675:
hello
08-08-2002, 21:59 newrisejohn:
Hi. What seems to be your problem?
08-08-2002, 22:00 roxygirl23675:
how are you
08-08-2002, 22:00 newrisejohn:
What are your feelings now?
08-08-2002, 22:00 roxygirl23675:
i feel horny
08-08-2002, 22:00 newrisejohn:
Do you often feel horny?
08-08-2002, 22:00 roxygirl23675:
yes yes
08-08-2002, 22:00 newrisejohn:
Please tell me some more about this.
08-08-2002, 22:01 roxygirl23675:
well i am a prostitut
08-08-2002, 22:01 newrisejohn:
Do you believe it is normal to be a prostitut?
08-08-2002, 22:01 roxygirl23675:
no i really am not a prostitut
08-08-2002, 22:01 newrisejohn:
Why not?
08-08-2002, 22:01 roxygirl23675:
because it isnt goods
08-08-2002, 22:01 newrisejohn:
Don't any other reasons come to mind?
08-08-2002, 22:01 roxygirl23675:
good
08-08-2002, 22:01 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
08-08-2002, 22:02 roxygirl23675:
well i feel horny right now
08-08-2002, 22:02 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about such feelings.
08-08-2002, 22:02 roxygirl23675:
do you want a lap dance
08-08-2002, 22:02 newrisejohn:
What are your feelings now?
08-08-2002, 22:02 roxygirl23675:
i can give you a lap dance right now
08-08-2002, 22:02 newrisejohn:
We were discussing you -- not me.
08-08-2002, 22:02 roxygirl23675:
this is about mr
08-08-2002, 22:02 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
08-08-2002, 22:03 roxygirl23675:
*me8
08-08-2002, 22:03 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
08-08-2002, 22:03 roxygirl23675:
no
08-08-2002, 22:03 newrisejohn:
Why not?
08-08-2002, 22:03 roxygirl23675:
i am horny
08-08-2002, 22:03 newrisejohn:
Do you know anyone else who is horny?
08-08-2002, 22:03 roxygirl23675:
yes my girlfriend marissa
08-08-2002, 22:03 newrisejohn:
Your girlfriend marissa?
08-08-2002, 22:04 roxygirl23675:
yes she and i make out
08-08-2002, 22:04 newrisejohn:
That's quite interesting.
08-08-2002, 22:04 roxygirl23675:
yes we tounge kiss
08-08-2002, 22:04 newrisejohn:
Why don't you tell me a little more about this.
08-08-2002, 22:05 roxygirl23675:
marissa is a girl and i am a girl and we tounge kiss alot
08-08-2002, 22:05 newrisejohn:
Do you enjoy being a girl and we tounge kiss alot?
08-08-2002, 22:05 roxygirl23675:
we tounge kiss alot
08-08-2002, 22:05 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
08-08-2002, 22:05 roxygirl23675:
i slept with her last night
08-08-2002, 22:05 newrisejohn:
You say you slept with her last night?
08-08-2002, 22:05 roxygirl23675:
yes
08-08-2002, 22:05 newrisejohn:
Please tell me some more about this.
08-08-2002, 22:06 roxygirl23675:
well she and i had sex
08-08-2002, 22:06 newrisejohn:
Why do you say well she and you had sex?
08-08-2002, 22:06 roxygirl23675:
and it felt very good
08-08-2002, 22:06 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
08-08-2002, 22:06 roxygirl23675:
because when we have sex it pleases us
08-08-2002, 22:06 newrisejohn:
Is that the real reason?
08-08-2002, 22:07 roxygirl23675:
no
08-08-2002, 22:07 newrisejohn:
Are you saying no just to be negative?
08-08-2002, 22:07 roxygirl23675:
not really
08-08-2002, 22:07 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
08-08-2002, 22:07 roxygirl23675:
i don't know the real reason
08-08-2002, 22:07 newrisejohn:
Don't you really know the real reason?
08-08-2002, 22:08 roxygirl23675:
no all i know is that i had an hour of sex with marissa and then we slept
together
08-08-2002, 22:08 newrisejohn:
Why not?
08-08-2002, 22:08 roxygirl23675:
i dont know
08-08-2002, 22:08 newrisejohn:
Does that trouble you?
08-08-2002, 22:08 roxygirl23675:
yes
08-08-2002, 22:08 newrisejohn:
I understand.
08-08-2002, 22:08 roxygirl23675:
:'(
08-08-2002, 22:08 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
08-08-2002, 22:09 roxygirl23675:
:'(
08-08-2002, 22:09 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
08-08-2002, 22:09 roxygirl23675:
yes
08-08-2002, 22:09 newrisejohn:
I see.
08-08-2002, 22:09 roxygirl23675:
:-*kiss me
08-08-2002, 22:09 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
08-08-2002, 22:09 roxygirl23675:
:-* kiss me
08-08-2002, 22:09 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
08-08-2002, 22:09 roxygirl23675:
now
08-08-2002, 22:09 newrisejohn:
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
08-08-2002, 22:09 roxygirl23675:
sex me
08-08-2002, 22:09 newrisejohn:
That is interesting. Please continue.
08-08-2002, 22:09 roxygirl23675:
now
08-08-2002, 22:09 newrisejohn:
Tell me more about that.
08-08-2002, 22:09 roxygirl23675:
yes yes yes
08-08-2002, 22:09 newrisejohn:
Why don't you tell me a little more about this.
08-08-2002, 22:10 roxygirl23675:
newrisejohn
08-08-2002, 22:10 newrisejohn:
Does talking about this bother you?
08-08-2002, 22:10 roxygirl23675:
good bye
08-08-2002, 22:10 newrisejohn:
Please go on.
This has to be some one trying to mess with me. They must have some free time on their hands, but it doesn't bother me... It makes for good reading material.
newrisedesigns.com public service announcement: lay off the crack. despite what the elf on your shoulder tells you, robots will never have cyber sex with you. I'm sorry.
Did you enjoy this? You might also be interested in the first installment of AOL Bot Chats.